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Those of you looking for a preview of a heartwarming movie about pleasant things, such as puppies, flowers and Kiera Knightley had better click elsewhere, for this film contains none of these things.

This is the story of three precocious (a word which here means "they do things children their age don't normally do") children whose lives are turned upside down when their parents and home are destroyed in a fire.

Fourteen-year-old Violet Baudelaire, 12-year-old Klaus Baudelaire and infant Sunny Baudelaire will recieve their parents' inheritance when Violet comes of age. If nothing bad happened to the children between the fire and then, there would be no reason for myself to report these terrible events.

Many of the terrible adventures of the Baudelaire orphans circle around Count Olaf (Jim Carrey). Supposedly a relative of the Baudelaires, he wants the fortune for himself, and goes to any length (a phrase here which means "stops at nothing") to make that happen.

The first few books of the series, The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room and The Wide Window will be the source material for this miserable movie.

Perhaps the only good news in this preview has nothing to do with the movie itself. Paramount thinks many people will pay to see these horrible adventures of the Baudelaire children and has planned a Dec. 17 release for it.

As release date nears, more and more information will undoubtedly (a word that here means "no doubt") pour in. We here at BOP are sworn to report this awful news, and we will do so as best we can. Less squeamish readers may want to click other links, though. (Tim Briody/BOP)

Vital statistics for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Main Cast Jim Carrey, Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Meryl Streep, Jude Law Supporting Cast Jennifer Coolidge, Luis Guzman, Timothy Spall, Cedric the Entertainer Director Brad Siberling Screenwriter Daniel Hadler, Robert Gordon Distributor Paramount Trailer Click Here for Trailer Official Site http://www.unfortunateeventsmovie.com/ Rating PG Running Time 113 minutes Screen Count 3,620 Talent in red has entry in The Big Picture

Comparison films for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Title	Date	Opening	Adjusted Opening	Screens	PSA	Adj PSA	Total BO	Adjusted Total	Mult
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone	11/16/01	90.29	96.36	3672	24590.00	25242.8	317.56	338.93	3.52
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets	11/15/02	88.36	91.86	3682	23997.00	23997.0	261.99	272.39	2.97
Casper *	5/26/95	22.09	30.62	2714	8139.00	10852.0	100.33	139.07	4.54
Moonlight Mile	10/4/02	1.88	1.95	434	4338.00	4338.0	6.79	7.05	3.37