On the Big Board |
| Position |
Staff |
In Brief |
| 88/166 |
David Mumpower |
Much less than the potential sum of its parts but it does have its upside. |
Spelunking in caves is always fun. You get to wear the cool gear and put on the headlight helmet. You come back looking disheveled and muddy, and you can look at all the wusses who have been working on their computers all day and say, "Ha! I have been exploring caves today while all you have done is read BOP and surf porn!" While that sort of net surfing is the most noble available, the cave spelunking is still going to win the machismo contest every time.
The only problems with cave spelunking are the occasional battles with demonic underlords who seek to feast on your internal organs. But that's a small price to pay for impressing women in bars, right?
The Cave will tell the story of such a group of spelunkers (if you haven't figured it out yet, I really like the word spelunkers). Led by the silky smooth Morris Chestnutt, this group of hotshot cave divers is the envy of...wait for it...spelunkers across the globe. The crew, which includes Eddie Cibrian of Third Watch and 2 Fast 2 Furious villain Cole Hauser, are having a great time doing what they do best: exploring complicated underground mazes. Then, like ants at a picnic, the demons show up to ruin everyone's good time. What follows is an action horror thriller in the vein of Hauser's other noteworthy flick, Pitch Black.
Will the cavemen escape? Will I quit saying spelunker? Stay tuned. (David Mumpower/BOP)
|
|
|
|
Tweet
